Relationship violence

Relationship violence is violence thar occurs in young people’s relationships. Relationship violence can, for example, start with jealousy and slowly advance to physical violence. In addition to physical violence, relationship violence can also include psychological and sexual violence.

Unfortunately, the violence tends to get worse and more brutal, that is why it is important to intervene as soon as possible.

Relationship violence can be behaviour that scares or offends you. A violent partner can be controlling and dominant in the relationship. Signs of controlling can, for example, be limited relationships with friends and possibility to go where you want.

Relationship violence can include:

Restrictions
Pressuring or forcing into sexual acts
Subjugation
Controlling
Threats
Jealousy
Name-calling
Blackmailing
Hitting

Why can it be difficult to tell about relationship violence?

It might feel hard to tell about relationship violence because the violence can cause feelings of shame or guilt. Victims of relationship violence do not necessarily know what a relationship should be like and not. The gradually deteriorating situation makes it harder to identify the violence.

The perpetrator can also blame the victim and make the victim believe that he or she deserves the violent treatment. On the other hand, the victim may want to protect his or her partner.

Fear of revenge can also discourage victims from seeking help.

Remember this:

There should be no form of violence in the relationship
The relationship violence is not your fault
You have nothing to be ashamed of
The perpetrator is always responsible for his/her actions
You do not have to tolerate relationship violence
All reactions are normal
It is important not to be left alone with the experience
Tell a reliable adult about what happened
Do not hesitate to ask for help

If you experience violence in your relationship, you should consider whether staying in the relationship is a good idea. Violence and harming someone else is always wrong. Violence tends to get more serious. It is important to stop the violence, it does not end by itself.

If you still want to continue the relationship you must get help together. Both parties of the violent relationship must receive sufficient help. It is important that you reflect together on the rules for the relationship and that you consider your own boundaries. Here is Väestöliitto’s (the Family Federation of Finland) list of various support organisations: Support organisations

Relationship violence

Why can it be difficult to tell about relationship violence?

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